I Want to be Like Linda!

What does being long suffering really mean? It isn’t pretty, that’s for sure. It is living in that place where the people who are suppose to love you, instead judge you, use you, or forget that you are a child of God yourself. It’s standing in the waiting line for years and waking up and asking yourself if today is the day He’ll answer your prayers. Or perhaps, it is that awful moment when you think, "Maybe God has forgotten me!"

Maybe, just maybe, all of those promises you jumped on in His Word weren't really all that personal, not really meant for you. You put a date next to them in the margins of your Bible because you found yourself weeping over the words one morning and you thought God was speaking to you. You were moved beyond words. But years have gone by. You’ve seen other people’s prayers answered, just not your own. 

Sound familiar? If you are still seeking God, still hoping, and still believing even though you have, by now, set up shop in the valleys, then you are living out the definition of long suffering. 

But what about all of the well meaning Christian messages I hear about how I must have some hidden, unconfessed sin in my life that is hindering my prayers? God can’t bless me because I am living in disobedience. Sorry, but it doesn’t ring true. My God does not say that perfection is required. Those people I told you about who had their prayers answered? Guess what, they are pretty sorry folk, too. I also can’t really believe the lies the devil whispers in my ear about how I must be the worst sinner on earth because God doesn’t grant or hear my petitions. Nope. I’ve been at this game way too long for that!

Sure, I’m not immune to that pied pipe of, “you’re the BIGGEST sinner of all.” I just know it isn’t true. Break one law, your guilty of the WHOLE law. Uh oh, here we go. It’s like going full circle. If this is true, then why am I so hopeless? Why, despite the facts of God’s Word, do I allow myself to be dragged around by my literal emotional collar?

Because God doesn’t make exceptions—even for me. There is a very real reason why I must be in His word every day. There is a very real reason that I am reduced to hanging on His every promise. All the great men of God did! I am ashamed to admit, but I thank God that David didn’t actually become king for 12 long years after God told him he was anointed king. No. His is the testimony I need to hear. His is the testimony that isn’t, “I gave Christ my life, and He waved a magic wand over my mess and blessed me.”

Geez, Louise! No. David is the hope I need. David hid in caves, fought, killed, conquered, sinned, and still blessed God and refused to get ahead of Him, even with two opportunities to kill Saul. David is the man!

Interestingly, God told David that he was a man after God’s own heart. You don’t get this kind of heart living on easy street. People who possess this type of heart aren’t pampered, petted, or spoiled. They are, instead, heartbroken, weary, battle worn and torn. 

In fact, like David, Naomi (and Linda Hamilton) I, too, lived a hard life, so I can so relate to Naomi's sad, sad statement when she returned to her homeland of Bethlehem with Ruth. She told them, “Don’t call me Naomi, call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life bitter.” (Ruth 1:20)

I am sure that at one point Ruth, like many of us, thought she was walking on the right path. She had a good family, did the right things, and honored God. She found her man, got married, and had two sons. Then the famine came and she had to leave her family and all things familiar to her for the unknown and heathen land of Moab. No matter, she must have still felt blessed. She had her whole future ahead of her and she was a child of God, she was an Israelite.

Yet, life was not kind to her. When she returns to Bethlehem after the famine, she is broken and a little bit bitter. She is now a widow and her two sons are dead in a day and time when women could own nothing. No, this women wasn’t getting her mani-pedi every other Friday night and lunching with the girls. She had very real pain and loss in her life, yet it was through her that God chose to bring us the Savior of the world through the lineage of Ruth and Boaz.

Still, if I fail to pull these scriptures out and read, read, and reread them, reminding myself of how God worked in David and Ruth’s lives, they have no benefit to me. No matter that God is renewing my mind, which I do believe He is, I am still like the man (or woman) who looks at herself in a mirror, I walk away, and I forget what I look like. And predictably, the devil yanks my emotional leash and off I go.

So what is long suffering? It is hiding out in the wilderness, in the caves, and going hungry. It is trying to file off the rough edges of your pain while you mediate on God’s word. David hid God’s word in his heart. He mediated on it all of the time! You don’t mediate on God’s word when everything just falls into place. No. You mediate on God’s word when you have nothing to hang onto but God’s promises. God promises to never leave us or forsake us, to complete the good work He began in us, and to never allow those of us who hope in His word to be ashamed.  All I can say to that, as I get ready to face another day of believing without seeing is, amen! And God, if it isn't too silly, I want to be more like Linda!

After all, you must be preparing me for something really, really big, like the end of the world or something!

Believing in the Desert

I am in this place where the horizon is just plain empty and I find I have to trust God each day to fill my hope tank. I have experienced first hand the scripture, “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” (Prov. 29:18)

As mere mortals, we literally cannot survive without hope. Hope that God cares about us, has a plan for us, and hears our voice in times of distress, anxiety, and pain. It is in times such as these, when God is silent and we have a ceiling full of unanswered prayers, that we learn to trust in God’s providence. I know I am. Knowing and trusting in a providential God means that I haven’t missed the boat, I haven’t screwed up to the point of no return, and that there is a purpose for my life. He may be silent, but He is there and listening to my every word.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I heard the word “providence,” it was just a fuzzy Christian word that contained no personal meaning. However, I have come to understand this past year what God’s providence truly means to a believer. And this knowledge of God's providence gives me a deep peace and assurance that all is well in spite of my feelings. I am beginning to see what my natural, unregenerated spiritual eyes cannot. It means that on those days when my hope is lost and I can barely get out of bed to face another day of disappointment or drudgery, my God is still in charge and still on His throne. Foremost, it means that how this all turns out isn’t really all up to me. "Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” (Isa. 49:23)

What a relief to know that God doesn’t need me to accomplish His purposes. “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.” (Psalm 33:11) There is someone in authority over me who has control of the reigns. In an age where independence and personal accomplishment is lauded, this may not be welcome news for everyone. As a Type A personality myself, I have pushed open many a locked door, determined to make my own way in my own strength. Trust me, it didn’t end well. However, if God says his purpose stands forever and His word tells me He has a plan for me, I can let go and just rest.

God wants us to go His way, not because He is some power-mongering, controlling God, but because His ways are superior to those of mere man. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.” (Isa. 55:8) Going our own way always ends up at a dead end. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Prov. 14:12)

We have an enemy who we are not equipped to fight in our own strength, in our own, “flesh and blood.” This enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy us. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph. 6:12)

There is a secret to successfully surviving this life and it is not depending upon our own strength, abilities, talents, financial status, education, or might. God will light our path in this life ahead of us and protect us from our enemy behind when we surrender to Him and acknowledge that He alone is the master of our life. “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.” (Isa. 58:8) I don’t know about you, but the knowledge of knowing that God “has my back,” gives me great assurance.

Are you in a place of hopelessness today? Let me assure you that you have not placed your trust and hope in a small God. Tell Him you don't know the answers. You don't know the way out. Just surrender to His providential will and rest in the shadow of His wings.  If you are relying on your own strength, how is that working for you? Deep down you know you don't have all of the answers and that your are just playing a role in a play called life. Stop perpetuating the lie and memorizing your lines. Trust in Him alone. Trust in the one who created you and knows the number of hairs on your head. You won't ever want to hold the reigns again. In fact, God will set you free!