Ode to a Table

This is a very difficult post for me. I inherited my mother's dining set when she was no longer physically able to put on the big family dinners that she planned, prepared, and presided over for many a holiday. Not only did her treasured set come with many, many fond memories of food and family, but with some pretty ugly upholstered chairs as well.

Only now the chairs are here with me and she is not. My mother, Sandra Henderson, went to be with the Lord on February 13, 2012. The pain of this loss is, honestly, just too fresh to be real yet. However, along with my mother's passing, I made some pretty steep promises to her concerning her table. And I want to share them with you all.

I promised my mother that I would do my very best to keep this family intact, to always remember to celebrate family and food at least as half as good as she did, and that, no matter how busy we get or how much distance is between us all, to never ever forget we are a family. I intend to keep those promises to the very best of my ability.

My mother never forsook the chance to gather us around her table on every holiday she could get us and many a Sunday dinner. Laughing and eating around her table made up the cadence and rhythm of my family life. Never once did she complain that it was too much work or that she was too tired or unappreciated, as I am sure she often was.

Not only was she a gourmet cook long before there were foodies and television shows about food, she knew how to set a table and make a meal feel like an occasion. When our family became too large for us all to sit around the table, she still cooked elaborate meals, ironed the tablecloth, made a centerpiece, put out her "fancy" dishes among the clumsy fingers of the grandchildren, and set the mood with candle light. Not only did she enjoy it, it was her tangible way of showing her love to each of us and her special service to her family.

If you are a young mother just starting your own family traditions, please, please don't overlook the importance of gathering your family around the table and making a big deal out of it. Why? Because it is a big deal. Your family will gain so much more than just eating a meal. They'll know that you value them and that you didn't need a special occasion or an interesting dinner partner to go to the trouble to put a linen tablecloth out and do a sink full of dishes rather than throwing away some paper plates.

And my mother didn't just cook for the family. In the 60s and 70s, and throughout the 80s, she hosted many a fine and fun dinner parties for friends.

My mother taught me many, many valuable things about being a young woman and a lady. Far too many things to share in this one post, but one of the greatest gifts she ever gave me was the lessons I learned watching her serve her family around something as inanimate and inane as a table.

I fervently hope that people are beginning to sense the importance of a slow meal and that this is the reason why there is such a renewed interest today in home entertaining and cooking. People are longing for their lives to have meaning outside of their jobs, the classroom, or running from one sporting event to the next. We crave connection with one another. In fact, the human spirit requires it.

My mother's table became the anchor in the storm of many a family member's life. We didn't just eat a meal, we connected with one another as we set and cleared the table, put away the leftovers, did the dishes, or listened to a sibling's tale or an older relative spin a yarn. And we laughed. We laughed a lot. It was in these moments that my mother carved out of each of our busy lives that our house became a home, a safe port, a familiar haven.

Even after I inherited her dining set, we managed to gather one last time around her "table" this past Thanksgiving. Gone was the china and fancy dishes (there were 17 of us!) but we still set out the candles and covered the tables. Most important, we again shared a lot of laughter.

So here's to turning off the television, putting away the ipad, and turning off the phone--that is after you have planned the menu, shopped, and baked your pie. Family gatherings don't just happen spontaneously and they are not just for Thanksgiving, they are a deliberate labor of love. And Mom, I know you told me you chose this busy, dark fabric because of all the food that would be spilled on your chairs, but I still went with white.

Yet, deep down inside, I know you are right--that's why I covered them in cheap painter's drop cloth and I have plenty to spare--after they get stained at the first family meal. I'll be thinking of you and your wise advice when I have to pull out the staple gun and get busy. I love you and miss you already and there is no doubt I will see you again at the marriage feast of the lamb!

Thanks for the Memories

I know it is corny, but I was humming John Denver's "Country Roads" as I packed the night before I left on a road trip to see my brother and his family in Virginia. For years, they lived in a little town called High View, West Virginia and, although they no longer live there, it is where my fondest adult memories are.

When my mother purchased property a few miles away, it became my dream to live there, too. My brother and his wife had 12 or more acres smack-dab in God's country right off of this road:

 

Heck, who wouldn't want to live here? Unless, of course, you are a city slicker. 

I had big dreams of being a stay-at-home mother, baking cookies, fighting off bears and coyotes, and growing my own vegetables. I fondly remember the kids and the then-hubby packing into my little Mitsubishi hatchback and trekking up the mountains to spend the day with the family. 

My brother was raising chickens and, for a girl who grew up in the suburbs, I thought they were just the most amazing creatures God ever made. When we would finally leave at dusk, the glens would be filled with herds of deer. Again, a sight this suburbanite had never seen. It was all just so magical. It not only became my fondest memories, but my children's favorite family times as well, which only goes to show you that Xbox and Barbie cannot compete with Mother Nature. 

Here is a picture of the entrance to "their" road at Powder Mill:

About five miles from my brother's homestead is beautiful Capon Bridge.  I'm sure this place holds more memories for him than I. He would take his son and my nephew fishing on the "crick." It was cold and overcast the day we visited, but nothing could diminish its beauty. I just love this lonely house by the river.

As we winded up, down, and around the country roads, my daughter and I oohed and aahed over the little homesteads nestled in a hill there or a glen there. It was chilly enough to see smoke curling from the chimneys and the decay of this old abandoned place caught my eye. This picture just doesn't do justice to the loneliness this place exuded.

The next day was a field trip with my brother, Jerry, and his wife Jane. She made me pecan coffee and we piled into the rental vehicle and drove through Leesburg, Va. to Chantilly, Va. Leesburg is nothing but old-money horse and wine country.The rolling hills and estates where pure eye candy.  He took me to his favorite Asian market, Lotte's, and the fish market blew my mind.

 

I have to say I have never been ANYWHERE that sells conch.  I haven't a clue, but $3.99 a pound doesn't seem like a bad price to me. Fish head soup, anyone?

The variety of exotic produce and goods was sensory overload and I loved every minute of it. Next, he took me to Wegman's. I am not sure how to describe Wegman's. Maybe foodie went to market? It is artisan bakery, butcher, seafood market, and farmer market rolled into one. Wegman's wouldn't let me take pictures, but I did sneak a few pics from the mezzanine:

I was craving a good sub and Jerry introduced me to the "Danny's Special," a culinary concoction of Italian meats and savory red pickled peppers on soft white bread.There is simply no way you can eat at a sub chain after this.

I purchased some artisan wheat sour dough bread for my nieces' chili feast on Sunday that was a big hit. I also picked up some Virginia wine and some specialty cheeses to try at home.

 

Having grown up in Maryland, I couldn't pass up the Chesapeake blue crab red. I also tried the "milk cheese" made from sheep's milk. Both were a-maz-ing. I picked up a blue from Italy and some champagne cheddar. Will try this weekend.

Needless to say, my trip to the mountains was filled with family and the bittersweet pang of good memories. As the years roll by, I can appreciate and enjoy my time with my brother as I never have before. I have always loved Jane and considered her my sister and my nieces are just pure cherries on my Sunday, but no one says it better than Jane Austin when it comes to the power of familia bonds:

     Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits,      have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply...  ~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814

So...as I drink my blue crab red and nibble my cheese, I lift my glass to family, my blood.  Until next time we meet, I love you all!

 

Additions to the Family

It has been ages since I posted but much has happened. I left for my short Mrytle Beach trip and everything went crazy. My computer crashed and my mother got seriously ill and was hospitalized. The month of July has flown by and my magazine has not yet made it to the web or any of my other projects completed. There are, however, some bright spots to an otherwise hectic summer. Namely, a few new additions to my family of which I am very proud. First, is Graham. The red-headed sweetie in the pic below who asked my daughter to marry him. Cute couple, huh?

Not only is he easy on the eyes, he is handy! Thanks to Graham my Sleepy Poet chandelier is now hanging over the dining table:

We now will be able to see what we are eating and I am hoping that is a good thing. Gotta love a man who knows how to work a power tool AND electricity! 

The other new addition to the family is the metal seahorse you see here that I picked up at Ross for the incredibly expensive price of $12.99. This picture on the wall, though large, was just plain lost in the space. Though I love my seahorse, I have to say "no" to any more sea-themed items. One more nautical item and I will be teetering into tacky. Next for this room is finishing the other candlestick lamp shade and recovering those awful chairs.

The other edition to the family happened in May when Ailis and Robbie got hitched. I hate the circumstances of the visit this past weekend, but I am so glad I got to know this cutie a little better. He is a firefighter and an all around great guy, even if he does wear NY tees. You go Ailis! 

After a long day of visiting with "Grandma Sandy," a family game time was much needed. We watched family videos of when the gang were just rug rats and looked at old family photo albums.  Lots of laughter and good times were had by all. Of all the tragedies this month, including my best friend at work whose husband was in intensive care for weeks following a terrible car accident, the sound of my family laughing filled my heart with joy!